Tag Archives: herpes singles

The Embarrassing Truth – How to Tell Your Date You Have Herpes

78772014123114364592737759Getting back to dating after you have found out you have herpes is not easy – you feel uncomfortable, uneasy with yourself, lacking confidence…so what can herpes singles do and say to their potential sexual partners that will not cause a scene or an argument? Dating with herpes means that at some point (remember, always before clothes are off!) you are going to have to come clean to your partner if you plan to have sex with them. So how does one break the news?

Be Easy On Yourself, So Others Can Be Easy On You

Remember, herpes is a common disease with one in five Americans positive to the virus, and as many as 85 percent do not even know that they have it. Herpes singles must choose the right time and the right place to say the awkward news. But before anything, a person with herpes must not be hard on themselves because it can happen to anybody. Go easy on yourself, so other will be easy on you. Dating with herpes is not impossible. And many times it will happen that the potential partner will be ok with the news and will not make a fuss about it. But it is important how and where to say it.

Be Calm, Choose a Private Setting

Herpes singles should start with an introduction and never begin with phrases like “I have awful news” or “I am disgusting, etc”. That way you are preparing your partner for something that is unbearable. Herpes is not unbearable. If treated right, outbreaks can occur very rarely. Never assume how the other person will react by saying “You are going to freak out when you hear this…” With this sentence alone, you are setting them in the panic mode. Also choose a private setting, with no distractions, like a walk in a park. Be straightforward and emotionless and just say “I test positive for the antibodies for HSV-2, which is a type of herpes.”

Be prepared to present the facts

Educate yourself on herpes prior to having the talk. Make it clear to your partner that herpes is very common and that symptoms can range from having sores on genitals to practically having no symptoms. Answer all questions your potential partner may have, and it will probably not be such a shock for them after that. Dating with herpes is a sensitive matter, but using the right words and setting can even trigger more respect that the partner has for you, as you are being honest about it and protecting their health.

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Positive ways in which having an Herpes can improve your life!

Being diagnosed with Herpes/STD can be a 20382014heartbreaking and overwhelming experience. Let’s face it, all of us are going through this. Although most of us want to just crawl into a corner and wallow in sadness, I thought it would be a great idea to try something new here. I myself was diagnosed with HSV, although I am not sure what type. I was heartbroken, because for me, I saved myself until I was eighteen, and then the first guy I slept with (and the only) passed it on to me. With the case of Herpes, for those of you who have it, we all know it never goes away. However, DON’T FRET! Life is all about overcoming obstacles, and what would it be without a challenge anyways? Herpes will always be a ‘fact,’ a ‘part of our lives,’ however, it is on us to choose to what level we will let this affect our happiness and ability to live fulfilling, joy filled lives. I for one won’t let it damper my flame! Here I would like to list some ways in which having herpes can affect your life in a POSITIVE way (this just doesn’t apply to herpes by the way).

Herpes can help you become more grateful for what you DO have in life. It is so easy to focus now on what we DON’T have (ugh we have this disease! Ugh we don’t have the same sex life! maybe.) But we can be thankful for SO much (our eyesight, our ability to love, our ability to walk). Having Herpes has opened my eyes to the beauty in the world around me. Yes I may be suffering from outbreaks every so often, but some people have to deal with the painful memories of a difficult past, or scars reminding them from an accident they had as a child (those will be a part of them forever too!). One thing that helped me is to write out, every morning , ten things in life that i was THANKFUL for. As I write them out, I feel the gratefulness, like really feel it (not just a half-hearted thank you, you have to feel it) and that exercise alone has helped me become more positive through this.

Another thing I’d like to mention is about how this gets us down. Yes, I am very optimistic, but yes, I am also human. Sometimes it still gets to me. Sometimes I get back into that cycle of feeling sad, being bitter towards my ex. etc. These are not healthy emotions, but all of us have them. When you find yourself slipping into this state, you can pull yourself out. Try listening to upbeat music, or exercise, or just do anything to get your mind off these thoughts (I usually think of a happy memory I had as a child). I think the most important message here is to try to stay positive as much as you possibly can given the circumstances, and with that, you will draw more happiness and joy into your life. So to everyone, good luck and stay positive!

Having Herpes can help kick start you into a direction of making healthier eating and living choices. Eating a proper, balanced diet, getting enough rest, and reducing stress will allow you to have less outbreaks, and are also probably THE BEST things for your body! So really, making these changes will benefit you in the long run. It has taught me to take better care of my body! Just think, maybe if you didn’t have the disease you would focus less on what your body needs (eating more fast food, not getting enough rest and partying all night, drinking excessively). You can start trying to alter your lifestyle more positively by searching different foods that can help prevent or trigger an outbreak, and different exercises and types of meditation that help relieve stress and promote relaxation (try the Internet or the library).

Take enough time to get to know someone with herpes

My beautiful picture

Being a lesbian with Herpes seems unheard of, but the truth is, there are more ladies out there then you would originally assume that have come in contact with someone who has been a carrier of some sort.

It’s never fun, but I’ve learned for me, the key is, get to know someone over a three month period and after the third make out…

haha, It’s not a mathematical equation, but it does help with the pacing.

What I’ve learned is that disclosing is a filter like anything else and the more someone gets to know you, the less significant something like an STD is.

I have generally found that making out is totally fine, but after the third time over at least a month period, a disclosure isn’t a bad idea.

It works for me and not to mention, it gives me enough time as well to get to know if I even want to get with them.