Getting back to dating after you have found out you have herpes is not easy – you feel uncomfortable, uneasy with yourself, lacking confidence…so what can herpes singles do and say to their potential sexual partners that will not cause a scene or an argument? Dating with herpes means that at some point (remember, always before clothes are off!) you are going to have to come clean to your partner if you plan to have sex with them. So how does one break the news?
Be Easy On Yourself, So Others Can Be Easy On You
Remember, herpes is a common disease with one in five Americans positive to the virus, and as many as 85 percent do not even know that they have it. Herpes singles must choose the right time and the right place to say the awkward news. But before anything, a person with herpes must not be hard on themselves because it can happen to anybody. Go easy on yourself, so other will be easy on you. Dating with herpes is not impossible. And many times it will happen that the potential partner will be ok with the news and will not make a fuss about it. But it is important how and where to say it.
Be Calm, Choose a Private Setting
Herpes singles should start with an introduction and never begin with phrases like “I have awful news” or “I am disgusting, etc”. That way you are preparing your partner for something that is unbearable. Herpes is not unbearable. If treated right, outbreaks can occur very rarely. Never assume how the other person will react by saying “You are going to freak out when you hear this…” With this sentence alone, you are setting them in the panic mode. Also choose a private setting, with no distractions, like a walk in a park. Be straightforward and emotionless and just say “I test positive for the antibodies for HSV-2, which is a type of herpes.”
Be prepared to present the facts
Educate yourself on herpes prior to having the talk. Make it clear to your partner that herpes is very common and that symptoms can range from having sores on genitals to practically having no symptoms. Answer all questions your potential partner may have, and it will probably not be such a shock for them after that. Dating with herpes is a sensitive matter, but using the right words and setting can even trigger more respect that the partner has for you, as you are being honest about it and protecting their health.